With all that we had going on at the end of December and start of January, I decided that my "new year" would begin in February. Allowing myself time to settle into our new house, get adjusted to being back in the swing of school & activities post Christmas, and just breathe during those in-between moments. I knew if I started in January that I was setting myself up for immediate failure. So I was patient and waded the new year waters as if it was the ending of the year. Part of me believes that I wasn't ready to let go of the emotions of my miscarriage and postpartum. And while I believe that the grief and loss will be with me in a way forever, I do believe that the Lord will heal me in His way. There is one more major milestone to overcome, that being my due date, but I feel better equipped to handle it now that my "new year" journey has begun.
Back in November while Ryan & I were away in Sedona for our 5 year anniversary, I spent a lot of time praying, reading, and being still. It was then as I felt a brief moment of peace that I wrote down my intentions fort his year. My theme: kindness & connectivity. For & to myself, my husband, my children, and those around me.
My intention is to take care of ME by channeling and fostering the things that make me a better version of myself. For the last two weeks, i have begun my morning with a simple prayer of thanksgiving to God and then read a short bible passage. No matter how rushed my morning might be, I have made it my main priority to take those few moments of quiet to start my day. And like all things with the Lord, the bible verse has been oh so appropriate for that moment in my life. I have also been ending my day with a chapter of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp. To end my day by thinking back to all the grace and beauty God has blessed me with each day has proved to be humbling.
I have also made exercise and yoga/meditation a part of my weekly routing. And bubble baths...oh yes, relaxation is key! I try to find the time and be intentional about these commitments to myself. Sometimes it is a 15 minutes yoga video or a 20 minute do-your-own bounce/barre combo class in my workout room. Other times it is enjoying an hour of tennis or the energy & sense of community at BYou. I don't want to get bogged down by the time constraints and fret over if it was the best of the best. I just want to remember to take time for myself whenever I can grab it.
Time is precious and with 3 little ones, Ryan & I rarely get time for just us. Either it comes at the end of the day and we are both so tired that we would rather read, sit in silence, or sleep. But I am working to make time for US. Even if it is a fire on a Friday night in our bedroom. Or sitting next to one another in bed watching a UK basketball game. It need not be elaborate to make you feel more connected to your partner.
For my children, I am working to be stern without yelling. This is my single goal to accomplish this year when it comes to parenting. It is so hard when I am exhausted and the kids are tired and acting. And I know this is my downfall and will be the biggest challenge.
I desperately miss travel and want to venture to see my bff Kelley once baby Charlie is born. I also want to take a family trip with the Kennedy's this summer. A family trip here or there and of course a week or two down in Naples. It is my favorite hobby and I feel like it has been lacking in my life recently.
As we begin the SHA Tennis season, it is my hope to leave a positive, lasting impression on my girls. To inspire them to set & reach their goals as individuals and a team. To give them the zeal to want to play in college. To mentor them on & off the court. I hope that I am able to leave a lasting legacy at my alma mater.
So much of kindness is in listening, understanding, and biting your tongue. In communicating effectively, knowing when to walk away, and when to lift others up. It is through kindness that we connect more deeply to those around us creating a more fulfilling life of our own.
In 2017, I hope to find all that and more.