Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It's A Bittersweet Symphony

March 30th. Who would've thought this to be such a bittersweet day in my life?

The most amazing man to grace this Earth (aside from Jesus) was born 29 years ago. It took nearly that amount of time for us to find one another, but it was well worth the wait. He was worth the pain and suffering of past failed relationships.

Coincedentally, my soon-to-be niece or nephew was lost today. My baby sister miscarried. A thought unthinkable to anyone in our family. I do not know the pain or anguish one feels when they have lost their child, even if only a few months along. But I imagine it is somewhat unbearable.

So on a day, when the Lord gave such sweet life to one man, He took an unborn angel.

Monday, March 29, 2010

What I Need

The Lord works in the most mysterious ways and the devil is constantly creating turmoil to undo that which God has created.

To say that I am struggling with the devil in many aspects of my life at the present is an understatement. The past is generating a flurry of anxiety, apprehension, and overall discomfort to my life at the moment. A switch labeled turn off brain would be of the utmost help.

I don't know how to stop the needs I have for fulfillment in life- relationship, family, or career. I am unsure as to why I cannot mentally overcome the traumatic encounters that haunt me from previous experiences.

All I know is that I need a certain amount of love and committment in my life. I need a sense of accomplishment and impact in the lives of others. I need to know that at the end of the day I am needed, I am worth it, I am loved. And I need this from those that I love the most...