And then there were two...

...as in babies. As in SIX positive pregnancy tests. Plus the one at the doctor's office and the blood test.

Some of you may know that we started trying for another baby back in February. My pregnancy, labor, & delivery with Adelaide was very easy and pretty flawless so we thought why not. But IT wasn't exactly working. Without giving TMI, Ryan & I decided to have some tests run to see what issues existed, if any. See with Adelaide we weren't even trying so I was having a hard time understanding why this time around it was so difficult. I know 8 months isn't a long time in the grand scheme of life. Or long in comparison to others who have been trying to conceive. But for me, it became a vicious monthly cycle. Get my period. Wait a week & a half for my fertile window. Get busy. Wait for an eternity. Take a test. Negative. Be hysterical, depressed, and certain that we would never have another baby again. Dramatic? Yes. But my reality for those months? Yes.

Fast forward to September when on a Saturday evening I found myself at the ER for chronic chest pains. After doing several blood tests, one being a negative pregnancy test, having X-rays, and being on a heart monitor, I was released and ordered to rest as well as cut out any stress from my life. Oh if only it were that easy...like I could zap people who stress me out or poof-be-gone my stressful thoughts.  On the car ride home, I lost it. It hadn't really sunk in at the hospital that I was without child, but as I trekked home alone during the midnight hours, I suddenly realized my reality. Defeated is an understatement.

My crazy mind was trying to give me a glimpse of hope asking could it be too early for a blood test. Thanks to Google & BabyCenter I learned that yes indeed it can be too early to detect at times. So a few days later I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Now I just felt foolish.

I set out to prepare for the IUI procedure we were planning to have the following week. I began yoga, stopped drinking wine, and had an appointment to see an acupuncturist. Monday morning was "d day" or as some may say time for a visit from "Flo". I awoke ready for the worst. Yet for some reason I wasn't feeling any of the usual symptoms and had a bright idea to confirm that I wasn't pregnant. I was in Kentucky staying at my parents and had a test left from when I found out Adelaide was on her way so I decided to pee on the stick and hop in the shower. There was not 1% of me that thought I was pregnant. At all. So when I got out of the shower and looked on the floor and read:

PREGNANT!

I started laughing and felt my heartbeat sky rocket. No way. No way. No way. And I didn't really believe it for several days. Or maybe weeks. Possibly the first 3 months. But I believe it now.

Because For This Child We Have Prayed...