Some of you may know that we started trying for another baby back in February. My pregnancy, labor, & delivery with Adelaide was very easy and pretty flawless so we thought why not. But IT wasn't exactly working. Without giving TMI, Ryan & I decided to have some tests run to see what issues existed, if any. See with Adelaide we weren't even trying so I was having a hard time understanding why this time around it was so difficult. I know 8 months isn't a long time in the grand scheme of life. Or long in comparison to others who have been trying to conceive. But for me, it became a vicious monthly cycle. Get my period. Wait a week & a half for my fertile window. Get busy. Wait for an eternity. Take a test. Negative. Be hysterical, depressed, and certain that we would never have another baby again. Dramatic? Yes. But my reality for those months? Yes.
Fast forward to September when on a Saturday evening I found myself at the ER for chronic chest pains. After doing several blood tests, one being a negative pregnancy test, having X-rays, and being on a heart monitor, I was released and ordered to rest as well as cut out any stress from my life. Oh if only it were that easy...like I could zap people who stress me out or poof-be-gone my stressful thoughts. On the car ride home, I lost it. It hadn't really sunk in at the hospital that I was without child, but as I trekked home alone during the midnight hours, I suddenly realized my reality. Defeated is an understatement.
My crazy mind was trying to give me a glimpse of hope asking could it be too early for a blood test. Thanks to Google & BabyCenter I learned that yes indeed it can be too early to detect at times. So a few days later I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Now I just felt foolish.
I set out to prepare for the IUI procedure we were planning to have the following week. I began yoga, stopped drinking wine, and had an appointment to see an acupuncturist. Monday morning was "d day" or as some may say time for a visit from "Flo". I awoke ready for the worst. Yet for some reason I wasn't feeling any of the usual symptoms and had a bright idea to confirm that I wasn't pregnant. I was in Kentucky staying at my parents and had a test left from when I found out Adelaide was on her way so I decided to pee on the stick and hop in the shower. There was not 1% of me that thought I was pregnant. At all. So when I got out of the shower and looked on the floor and read:
I started laughing and felt my heartbeat sky rocket. No way. No way. No way. And I didn't really believe it for several days. Or maybe weeks. Possibly the first 3 months. But I believe it now.
Because For This Child We Have Prayed...