Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I turn 29 and so the last year of my 20's begins. There is much anxiety inside me with fears of turning 30 (yikes!) and becoming a mom which hasn't made today all that fun. You see to me birthdays are always ALL about the birthday girl/boy because it is the ONE day that it really is all about you. A day to celebrate the miracle of life, your life. So I always have high expectations. My mom has tried to warn me about getting so pumped up about life events because she says I always get let down. That I make the hype so big no one will be able to attain my hopes & dreams. But I can't help how I feel ya know.

For me, growing into an adult is terrifying because you lose the innocence of childhood. Have you ever looked at a child and seen the innocence that they possess in their thoughts, actions, and words? They haven't experienced the doubts or the fears, the deception or the lies, the sadness or the pain of the world to come. So they smile and keep their hearts open to their dreams. But as we grow older, it becomes increasingly difficult to not close off our hearts when hurt or to see the good in others.

So in many ways, I try to cherish February 18th each year in hopes of keeping that innocence. In hopes of protecting my heart from any pain or sadness that I have felt in 29 years of life. It isn't easy by any means, but it is what I hold onto as I go forward in life.