We discussed our journey (from the beginning of RCIA to now), the spiritual gifts that we possess, the gifts we pray to someday have, how RCIA has changed us, and what confirmation means to us. Due to my water works display at Sunday's dismissal, I was a bit more reserved and calm for this portion.
Our team leader also covered what to expect on Saturday and how to appropriately receive the Eucharist as well as some other reverent tactics. A few of us asked questions as some of it seemed a bit foreign (lucky for me, I have seen 1,000 Catholic masses since my childhood so I am pretty hip on the whole process). We laughed a little more and did a bit of story telling.
So as the class came to an end, our team leader led us in a different style of prayer. We closed our eyes, quieted ourselves, opened our hearts and ears, and began praying. Perhaps the most powerful part was when the prayer led us to ask for release of those mistakes we have made, for forgiveness from the Lord. A stream of tears slowly fell down my cheeks. For so long I have carried so much shame on my little shoulders. Shame that God would not forgive me for the mistakes that I have made. Shame that even though I was walking in His light, He would think I was a phony because I had not always walked holding His hand.
Words cannot express the weight that was lifted of my shoulder by this intimate experience. I now know what it is like to have the Holy Spirit truly move me in a physical, spiritual, and emotional sense. I finally realized that God forgives. You simply just have to ask Him.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14
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