Thursday, June 10, 2010

Enough or Not Enough

Have you ever felt like that being you just might not be good enough? That your best effort never seems to make the cut? That no matter how hard you try, there is always someone that doesn't think it is enough.

I am not sure exactly when this became the story of my life, but it often feels like it has. There have been points in my life and in certain areas that I have lacked enthusiasm or poise or serious effort. I freely admit this weakness at times.

But I also strongly believe that there have been ample amounts of time when I have poured my heart and soul into something, many things. Yet somehow I manage to fall short of someone else's expectations.

As a slight perfectionist, such a feeling is truly damaging to my mind and heart. I have strived to whole heartedly engage in life on so many levels. I generally feel a sense of self worth and accomplishment when I work so hard, giving something my all. The most devastating reaction is one filled with a lack of gratitude, appreciation, or approval.

The daunting feeling of not being good enough for anyone or anything. I don't so much enjoy it.

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