I actually just want to vomit a bunch of words and thoughts onto the screen via my keyboard because I can't seem to pull together one, simple, complete thought.
They say that the devil lives and acts in many forms, and I think he is living in my brain. I am having a hell of a time overcoming some pretty troubling thoughts. A complicated mind is something that I definitely have, and it is the one thing that I would like to be uncomplicated at this point. I have to state that I have had this intricate mind for my 27 years with no sign of it getting any simpler. I have about 17 scenarios rummaging around in this head of mine...none of which I particularly care for.
Let me give you an example of how this little brain of mine operates...
I begin to think about the complications of a few things in my life right now which leads me to visualize the DVD cover for the movie It's Complicated 
(where Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are lying under the covers in their bed) and to have the audio of sweet Bon Qui Qui belting "I've got a complicated order" (see the video below for a good laugh). My stream of consciousness then floats to the phrase taken from the Bible (1 Corinthians 10:12), "this too shall pass" in hopes of trying to maintain my sanity in that I will get through these growing pains. This automatically makes me think of the great 80's TV sitcom: Growing Pains in which Carol's real life actress developed an eating disorder (I feel it important to note that although I often look like skeletor, I in fact do NOT have a problem eating too little). I immediately have flashbacks to where I was a short 2 1/2 years ago struggling to piece together my life and how I spent a great deal of time listening to the T.I. song "Life Your Life" for relief and inspiration. And as I am going over all of this in my head, I feel much like Drew Barrymore's character in He's Just Not That Into You when she rants about the various mediums of technology that she must goes through to be rejected. Much like she said in the movie, it is downright exhausting.
(where Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are lying under the covers in their bed) and to have the audio of sweet Bon Qui Qui belting "I've got a complicated order" (see the video below for a good laugh). My stream of consciousness then floats to the phrase taken from the Bible (1 Corinthians 10:12), "this too shall pass" in hopes of trying to maintain my sanity in that I will get through these growing pains. This automatically makes me think of the great 80's TV sitcom: Growing Pains in which Carol's real life actress developed an eating disorder (I feel it important to note that although I often look like skeletor, I in fact do NOT have a problem eating too little). I immediately have flashbacks to where I was a short 2 1/2 years ago struggling to piece together my life and how I spent a great deal of time listening to the T.I. song "Life Your Life" for relief and inspiration. And as I am going over all of this in my head, I feel much like Drew Barrymore's character in He's Just Not That Into You when she rants about the various mediums of technology that she must goes through to be rejected. Much like she said in the movie, it is downright exhausting.I would like for just one day to have a single thought. Period. End of story. Like "the sun is shining outside today" and have it stop right then and there. I am not quite sure how to make this happen or if this is even possible. If it is not possible, then I would love to use this little burden as a means to perhaps make myself rich or cure homelessness or do something for the betterment of the world...or at the very least not ruin what is considered to be the best thing to ever happen to me.
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