My last two blogging exercises have been less than enthusiastic. I don't believe it to be the lack in motivation to write as I have been continually piecing together the book. However, I do feel that in the past two days nothing has occured in my daily life to be emotional enough about; thus forcing my writing to be rather mundane.
But as the last few days have built up, I have become greatly emotional about finances. Finances were never a struggle for me growing up nor in my early days of adulthood. I could not fathom how or why people did not pay their credit cards in full each month. I did not understand the term 'in debt.' I do now (and have for almost 2 years) and I loathe it.
And it often feels like no matter how hard I work to get ahead, I still can't break the barrier. I long for my days of having minimized expenses and maximized income. I pray to the Lord numerous times a day to please help me out of this financial hole that I no doubt have created for myself.
I am not proud to express this in writing (although I find myself constantly verbalizing my frustrations). I can't help but allow financial woes make my blood boil and my mind race with anxiety. It is the biggest trial in my life at this point. And I have vowed to make 2010 the year it changes.
Because I will be physically nauseous if I make a credit card payment in 2011.
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