I'm no Dr. Phil.

Sure, I've been married 6 1/2 years. And I love my husband. And I have two enchanting kiddos to show for it.

But I am not the perfect wife or an expert on all things marriage.

Some days I am selfish. I nag about the toilet seat. Or decide to order greasy take-out because I was too lazy to make dinner. I don't say sorry as quick as I should (anybody who suggests "never let the sun go down on your anger" has never been REALLY angry;). I leave the laundry in the dryer too long and it gets wrinkled. I don't always put my phone down and listen. I forget to say thank you when Lee unloads the dishwasher. And much more and worse. Like the time my husband came home to find our son had tried to shave his face while under my care.

Okay. If you are still reading, I love you. And because of that, I will take a moment to share my thoughts on rockin' out marriage.

I could tell you about finding mentors to help you work through challenging situations or seasons in your marriage. How even a healthy marriage needs ongoing counsel. I could also encourage you to date your spouse. Send flirty text messages. Leave post-it notes in the car. I could tell you to serve your community together. Find something bigger than the two of you. And to be careful about seemingly innocent relationships with people of the opposite sex - whether at work or on facebook. If you get the butterflies for another peson, RUN!

But I think the secret to marriage comes down to one thing...

It's not about you.

Our culture is very self centered. You only have to open People or turn on Real Housewives (one of my guilty pleasures) for five minutes to see people talking about what they need. And want. And deserve. Popular musicians sing about how they are "sexy and they know it" and how they have the "moves like Jagger." You flip through the radio and hear that another gorgeous celebrity is leaving a gorgeous celebity for another gorgeous celebity. Shew...y'all know what I mean.

Buck the culture and put your spouses first.

It may make you feel vulnerable and it may even go against your core instincts (my mom always taught me to be independent of any man!). You may worry that you will get jipped or cheated. And you may. But if you lay down your rights and expectations, it just might make the difference between a good marriage and a great one. And that reward, my friends, is worth the risk.

If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.

Mark 9:35

Whit - you are thoughtful and passionate and I know you will pour your entire [HUGE] heart into your marriage. Ryan - I know how much joy you have already brought into the life of my dear friend. Keep it comin':). Lee & I wish you both the very best as you start your journey together as hubby and wifey and we are always here to cheer you on.