Parenting Without Borders: A Book Review

My second book about parenting around the globe was not as entertaining as the first, but it provided some more good information on various issues that all parents face. More of a research edition with less autobiographical examples and more studies & interviews, the harsh reality of American parenting faux pas were exposed. In some ways, I felt as if the author was not a fan of our culture at all. Though as time went on I came to realize that she was merely showing the differences in societies across the world through a new lens.

Broken into four parts, Parenting Without Borders gives us another look into the worries & wonders of parenthood.

• Part One: Caring & Feeding for Children
• Sleep- only in America is co-sleeping a tsk, tsk and baby night wakings frowned upon; research shows that babies/children who are cuddled during sleep time early on turn out to be more independent
• Stuff- too many choices have a negative impact on us; we often believe that more material things equal happiness; in Japan less equals more and in France excess "stuff" is considered gluttony
• Food- educating our children is key; meal time should be a pleasure; allowing our children the absolute freedom to choose whatever they want to eat can have consequences
• Part Two: Raising Children
• Self Esteem- we need to teach our children that the effort they put in is greater than the result; making mistakes & failing is OK and should be recognized as it means growth; false praise of our kids can actually hurt their self-esteem; empower our children to know that they can do things on their own
• Self Control- hovering parents cause kids to rebel and lash out because they don't need to have self-control if you are doing everything for them
• Play- unstructured playtime is an essential part of growing up; there is no race to grow up so allowing for free time to be creative & grow is part of learning; the great outdoors is a magical place to grow
• Part Three: Teaching Children
• Pressure- in the Asian culture, there is an intense academic regime that accounts for almost all of a child's day; there children see their dedication to learning as a sign of love to their parents; in Finland they offer a variety of subjects to build creative thinking & entrepreneur spirits; there they adjust education to fit the needs of the student and there is no such thing as a special needs student
• Part Four: Character of Children
• Kindness- a lack of manners inhibits kindness in children; babies are born kind and react to situations with that kindness in their heart & soul; parents should foster that innate kindness through teaching children manners
• Responsibility- in todays world we have less expectations of our kids & their abilities to perform chores/tasks; we also lack the patience to let them try & make mistakes; we are inhibiting them from growing as well-rounded people

All in all, Parenting Without Borders reminds us as parents that there is no right or wrong way to be a parent to your child so long as you love them. Love them for who they are and for who they will become.

July Date: Camping for Three & Campfire S'mores

For our July date, I opted for a little *free* outdoor fun as a family. Last year we camped a mere 30 minutes from home when I was severely pregnant. I remember looking at the family next to us with a new baby thinking these people are cray cray. Guess in the midst of making these dates a few months post camping & baby being born I forgot. Oops! In all seriousness, camping with Adelaide was not more difficult than had it been just Ryan & I. See after camping last summer and making notes on all of the things that crazy family had brought, I in turn bought many things to make camping with a baby feasible. Of course I did because I was in full nesting mode and had already nested the crap out of everything else. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when we were packing Friday night and I recalled how smart I had been last year. YAY for me outsmarting myself ;)

Albeit a major heat wave in New York, we packed up our little family of three four (including Beau) and headed up north for some 4th of July weekend camp fun. Nestled just an hour and a half away is Mills Norrie State Park yet it feels worlds apart from the hustle & bustle of NYC. We left late morning on Saturday and arrived in perfect time for lunch. We unloaded the car and got Adelaide situated on two large blankets with her toys (she cared more about playing with rocks but whatever). Then set up camp via our tent, camp couch, picnic table (I purchased some adorable tablecloths last season!), camp kitchen, & cooler.

After lunch, we took a little hike towards the cabins & river. We only went about a 1/2 mile before turning back because Beaumont was panting like he's 100 and Adelaide I was desperate for a swim to cool off. Changing into our swim gear and jumping in the car, we drove a few miles up the road to Lake Taghkanic. It had a make shift beach with volleyball to boot. Adelaide & I dipped right in with the other fellow campers. We waded around and made friends with a little girl names Madison. She was smitten with my baby girl. The boy stayed cool under the shade of a nearby tree.

Once we had satisfied our need to swim like fish, we headed back to our campsite to get dinner ready. Ryan prepped & cooked while I handled the princess who kept attempting to eat rocks and chase Beau around. The three of us enjoyed dinner, steaks & veggies for the adults/formula for the baby, and put the little one to sleep as the sun was going down. Of course no camp night is complete without a few s'mores so Ryan roasted a few up as we gazed up at the stars.

Ms. Adelaide was up bright & early at 6:30am thanks to the blazing, bright sun. She flipped & flopped around the tent, over the sleek sleeping bags from mom to dad to Beau for about an hour before we all decided to finally get up. A quick camp breakfast of egg & cheese sandwich then we were breaking down camp to head home.

Although short, our camping trip was sweet. I think we plan to make it a yearly tradition. Who knows, maybe next year we will make it two nights. The important thing is that we are getting out & enjoying nature together as a family!

An Anniversary Gift

My brother & sister-in-law celebrated their 2nd year of marriage on July 2nd. I remember their wedding like it was yesterday. Held in Michigan and one hell of a weekend. We roasted my brother the evening of their rehearsal dinner by singing My Shaneen to the tune of My Girl. One of the groomsmen introduced us all to his signature dance move...tease, tease, punish...by demonstrating on the bride. My dad busted a move to Baby Got Back and all sorts of other rap songs. Many laughs & tears were shed.

I think it is important to celebrate anniversaries. For my own marriage as well as for my family members. I always give my parents, Kendahl & Peter, and Amanda & Shane a little something to acknowledge the love they have for one another and to celebrate the commitment they made to their marriage.

This past year I made homemade hot cocoa kits for K&P since their anniversary is in December. Fit for a date night in or a family movie night. I like the homemade gifts especially when they entail food because they can compliment so many date night options.

hot cocoa & crushed peppermints

marshmallows & wafers

straws for stirring

For A&S I opted for an ice cream kit since July is HOT, HOT, HOT! Plus they have a gorgeous backyard deck and hot tub which they frequent often. So I gathered all of the necessities for ice cream, including waffle cones, waffle bowls, chocolate chips, gummy bears, sour patch kids, M&Ms, caramel sauce, chocolate syrup, and more. I packaged it in two little cupcake boxes and tied them together with a cute bow. Then added a tag saying just add ice cream. I stuck with red & white for a little 4th of July color theme.

I turned out super cute and they both liked it!! Which is always a plus :)

Vaca to Naples, Our 2nd Home

When you take 9 adults + 4 kids + 2 babies and put them under one roof, you get insane madness all day, everyday. The good kind. The make your tummy hurt while you laugh, slap-happy, silly giggles. You get pool time day & night. Numerous runs to Target to escape the madness and rejuvenate with a Starbucks. Yummy dinners out & about. Loads of homemade sweet treats at home. Countless games of cards (rummy) while children are napping. A lesson in Disney movies. Game night hysterics. Morning walks. Tennis challenges. Naples Zoo visit. Miami Seaquarium shows. Sun n' Fun Waterpark adventures. Nap time snuggles inside & outside...wherever there is room to lay your head. But mostly you get a wonderful 10 days with your family. The people who make you smile when the going gets tough. The people who wipe away your tears from the sadness & the laughter. The people who (along with my husband) make my heart beat.

Here's what it looks like in color...

Can't wait to see this crew again soon!!!

Adelaide Jane: 10 Months

Dearest Adelaide,

I cannot believe that you are 10 months old. It just doesn't seem real. This was a big month as you have developed in so many areas. I feel like you are such a big girl in some ways. I find myself sneaking in to peek on you at night or jumping in the bath tub with you just to cuddle more. And I have to admit something...while on vacation in Naples this past week, I definitely picked you up in the middle of the night from your crib and put you in bed with me just so I could wake up to your little feet kicking me in the side. I want to squeeze you all day!!

Your vocabulary took off this month and includes Mimi (my mom's name), bye bye, baby, mommy, & daddy. I think you are also working on Tay & bubby which you heard Collins repeat non-stop in FL.

You wave hi with a little shake of your wrist and you "queen" wave bye bye. You clap your hands often and on cue. It reminds me of how my Mama Comley (your great-grandma & name sake) used to clap. It will never get old.

You have 2 teeth coming in on the top gum which have created mounds of drool...way more than the bottom teeth. With the addition of teeth, I have continued to become braver in giving you adult foods. So far you have tried avocado, french fries, baked potato, watermelon, pancakes, brown rice, mac n' cheese, grilled cheese, and wasabi. Yep that is right, you grabbed a clump of wasabi off of Liz's plate and stuck it in your mouth while I had my head turned. You made a horrid face then grabbed a puff. I immediately gave you water which you welcomed, but other than that, all was good.

Your new favorite toy is the baby doll stroller that you use to walk around the office with daily. You push it (too fast sometimes) and cruise along until you get tired.

Socially, it has been a heck of a month for you. You had fun play dates with Caileigh & Ali which included loads of toys and snacks. You had 10 full days of madness with your cousins: Bishop, Collins, & Cooper in Naples. It is so cute to see your face light up when Bishop & Collins come running towards you. You know Collins' voice and crawl around looking for her. You also love to grab Cooper's toes and hands while she swings...and of course pulling her hair is one of your favorite new tricks. You followed Tyler & Travis around the pool as they swam and you floated. We had kid pool races which I made sure you always won ;)

You might take after your Auntie Marquette with your love of animals. We hit up Muscoot Farms (where you were especially found of the chickens & goats), the Naples Zoo (where you heard a lion roar & giraffes neck), and the Miami Seaquarium (where you fell in love with dolphins & whales). I see zookeeping in your future little lady.

Savoring the next two months before you, my dear, turn ONE!

I love you bunches!

Love,

Mommy