What If...

Yesterday I had one of those 'why me?' days. I thoroughly hate when they come around; mainly because they are in no way productive or helpful to my self-esteem or mental health. I verbally blogged (aka had a conversation) about my apprehensions, disappointments, and fears last night. My temporary freak-out was somewhat helpful, but when I awoke this morning, I realized that I had a bit of anxiety left inside me.

So here I am blogging it out. As the night fell into morning, I started to question so many things about my own self. Examples include: am I really working hard enough to accomplish my life goals? what if I am NOT working hard enough? what if I have slacked off in recent years? what if I lost my zest and drive to succeed? what if I am not destined to do great things like I have always thought? what if the life that I want is not the one that is my destiny? what if no one ever loves me for me?

Here I am writing a book with the main theme of being true to yourself and discovering yourself each day, but what if I am miserably failing at it myself?

I am still in the pondering state of all of these 'what ifs'. Maybe I will try turning my brain off for a day and see what my heart can come up with. They are not so good at working as a team every now and then. Maybe I will write, write, write until I can figure this all out.