This morning as I drove to work and listened to
Prince's Raspberry Beret, it dawned on me that I am experiencing a
late 20's life crisis. You know the kind when
"you are not engaged or married, do not own a house, and especially do not have kids but your younger siblings have all of the above as do the majority of your friends and your heart (and body) desire these things plus you were raised in the south which makes this an expectation" type of life crisis.
Perhaps I am being
selfish and
bratty which I am only
slightly afraid to admit. But if these things are what my heart desires then what do I do? Look at my heart and say,
"you are being a brat." Not to mention that the yearning for a child has much to do with the genetic make-up as well as the ever-changing female body which I indeed did
not create (
because if I had, I would have left a few choice things out that women suffer through FYI).
Maybe if I was born and raised in
Oshkosh, Wisconsin I wouldn't feel the pressure of the good ole' south and I'd be more concerned with things such as
cheese and
overalls. Unfortunately, that is just not the case with me.
I have worked so hard to have few
(if any) regrets in my life, but with age it becomes more difficult to continue that mentality. I make mistakes, lots of them actually, and sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock
(just for a minute) and have a redo. Lately, I find myself wanting to turn back someone else's clock. To have a redo for someone else.
Mainly because I struggle so much with a past that does not even belong to me. It is almost like I am in competition with a past that can never be changed, and in order for me to move towards what my heart desires, I must trump the competition. Talk about a
'no win' situation.
And lately it seems that
LeAnn Rimes' Jenny and I have more in common than I'd care for frankly:
Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year
Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
But it still ain't here
She's riding out the twists of fate
She's had all that she can take
She says something's gotta give
Ok I don't have a cat nor am I quite to 30, much less 31,
(and a minivan will never be my thing) but I do keep beggin' that
Something's Gotta Give.